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03 January 2018 @ 01:12 pm
Ranking the music videos of... Britney Spears  
A note about Britney: I like a few of her songs, but I've never really gotten the whole "BRITNEY!" thing so I did not come at this from a stan point of view at all and judged all of these just on the video themselves. Therefore, my ranking will likely not be what is a usual ranking of Brit-vids. With that said... I get it now. Britney Spears is awesome and I totally love her. I have been missing out. (The Blackout unreleased songs are amazing!!!) Anyhoo, on with the (very subjective) ranking of Britney Spears music videos...



01.) I Wanna Go

I loved this so much! This was funny and awesome and amazing! It made me cheer and smile and laugh. The beginning... "Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. Fuck you." Was. Awesome. Everything was awesome. The baby's reaction. The dogs' reactions. Guillermo Díaz (Huck, pre-Scandal) showing up and saving Britney. The milk splashing all over, the seashells. Britney's hair. Britney's outfits. Crossroads 2: Cross Harder. The ending which was a total homage to the music video, "Thriller." Ah, this was fantastic!



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02.) Perfume

This was beautiful. (So is the song. First time I've heard it. Just gorgeous.) The concept fit beautifully with the lyrics, and the construction of the video (Joseph Khan--the first, but not the last time you'll see his name here--directing, this version much better than his director's cut sounds, btw). Britney did some lovely acting, and I don't care that she threw in some product placement for her perfume. It worked with the video. I just really felt for her "character" and even though she was the "other woman," I still felt her pain.

[Click to watch the video]

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03.) Me Against the Music

That was awesome! So, so awesome. That was the best choreography with Britney, and the best direction of the choreography I saw in a video of Britney. The execution of her and Madonna with one another in the two rooms, against the wall, running through the wooden-slatted room with the sun rays coming in were both amazing set pieces. Madonna in the cream-colored room with the golden and orange leaves on the floor on the swing was gorgeous. Britney dancing while Madonna was on the multiple screens behind her... ugh, it was all just so fabulous! I loved it!

[Click to watch the video]

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04.) I'm a Slave 4 U

This is how you do a dance video, Nigel Dick*! Her dancing was not only incorporated into the video, it was practically the whole damn thing, but damn, was it amazing. It was electric. The cuts, the interspersion between Britney and the drops of sweat, the lighting of the fire, the steam coming off of the record player, Britney amidst the group of bodies. There was nothing overtly, in your face sexual about this video, but my goodness, it was dripping with sex in every single frame and it was AMAZING! And she looked amazing dripping with sweat and sexuality in that hot pink, and the silhouette of her writhing to the beat... WOWSA! It didn't matter that the whole drought, locale didn't really make much sense, the overall feel just worked with the song. It just worked. It got the desperation across. It worked so damn well. HAWT!

* Director of all of her earlier dance videos.

[Click to watch the video]

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05.) Slumber Party

Oh, my, that splendiferous sky blue concoction of a dress that Britney wears in this video... pure heaven! Oh, yeah, and the video is great too. No, really, it is. Everything, the other outfits that both her and Tinashe wear, the mansion, the lights, the cuts, the production value, the dancing--oh, the dancing is sooooooooo good, the chemistry between Brit and Tinashe, Brit walking straight towards the camera in that sexy, red number, Brit crawling across the table, it's all just sexy, gorgeous and too much fun to watch, especially the end when Britney and Tinashe, even in their fine attire, are smiling and giggling like girls at an actual slumber party.

[Click to watch the video]

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06.) If You Seek Amy

I'm not sure if I'm rating this video so high because of how much I still love this song. (God, I love this song and always have), but I thought the video was pretty awesome too. Oh, man, Britney in the happy homemaker in the get-up as she's walking through the sexed-up house was just the perfect kicker to the over-the-top sexed up video. A-W-E-S-O-M-E! Loved it. And Britney's hair cape was on point.

[Click to watch the video]

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07.) Circus

This was great. (And after it was done, I checked the director and it was the same guy, Francis Lawrence, who directed "I'm a Slave 4 U." Color me not surprised.) Great use of the circus setting, the edits, the quick cuts, the costumes, the dancing was all just spot-on and the final shot of Britney throwing her head back and smiling was the perfect icing on the cake. Ooh, and Britney with that hat... iconic.

[Click to watch the video]

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08.) Womanizer

I really liked this... but, I didn't really understand why the need for a naked Brit in the steam room. That just felt really gratuitous. Everything else was fantastic. (I especially loved office-room Brit, the sassy black bob and the glasses was a marvelous look). Great dancing, great cuts, great locations, the high heel on the steering wheel driving the car, the three variations of Brit morphing into the happy homemaker and laying into the womanizer, all of it was so good. I just felt a bit skeeved out at the why of the naked Brit in the steam room. Maybe it was her choice, in that case, OK, if not... why Joseph Khan? Why, do tell? *

* OK, I read up on it and it was his idea and it feels a lot like man-splaining to me.
The scenes in the sauna were suggested by Kahn, as a response to the attacks Spears received over the years about her weight. He stated, "I knew that the whole world would be watching, so I wanted something in there that stated, 'This is Britney, this is why you should respect her'"
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09.) My Prerogative

I'm judging the video, not the song (this is not one of her best, it's an OK cover, just unnecessary) or her co-star. The video, however, is really good, especially when taken with the song. It starts off as Britney seemingly making this crazy entrance at this party (literally crashing her car into the pool), but it winds up being her party, her wedding party. Pairing that with the lyrical intent of 'I live my life my way, don't judge me,' it really works. It's dark and flashy and has a twisted beauty to it.

[Click to watch the video]

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10.) Hold It Against Me

I don't have this higher because I had to read a little bit on it to get the symbolism. Without knowing the symbolism, the video was a big WTF? for me and I originally was going to have it much lower in my ranking. However, once I read a bit more on it, I went back and watched the video again and was like 'aah!' and so, yeah, it deserves a much higher ranking. Tracking Britney's career, the media obsession with her, the ups and downs, Britney's personal struggle all conceptually done through the pristine wedding-style dress destroyed by herself painting the entire area including her old videos seen on the monitors, Britney fighting herself, etc., and the question mark of where do we go from here at the end was all very well done. It just didn't reach out and grab me and that's why it's not higher.

[Click to watch the video]

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11.) Overprotected (The Darkchild Remix)

Britney released a video for "Overprotected" in 2001 and it was not very good (see further down), and then released this in 2002 and it was way, way better. Another full-on dancing video, but it had a bit of a story. Britney's tired of the stifling, and runs off with her girlfriends to have some fun, and they do. And it is fun, and hot, and Britney is in prime, hot-mode. And the dancing in the rain makes sense this time! (Again, see below for a different video.)

[Click to watch the video]

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12. I Love Rock 'N' Roll

For a pretty simple video, this was pretty good (and the cover is OK, if again, kinda unnecessary). Yes, it was just a one-set glory, Britney in midriff-baring black leather against a red background performing with a band (and at one point riding and writhing on a motorcycle), but it worked. The point was to highlight Britney's considerable sex appeal and it succeeded admirably. Plus, the beginning in black and white before transforming to color with flashes of filtered blue and the black and white throughout the video, along with the quick cuts were really well done.

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13.) Criminal

This would be higher except for the ending... how did they not die? We saw the bullets going in there like gangbusters. How did they escape? Hello!! That kinda shit pisses me off, people. Grr. Anyhoo, other than that, it was really good and Britney looked really pretty. (Always a bonus! She's so pretty!) I like this director, Chris Marrs Piliero, and how he works with Britney with the whole concept and stuffs... he did my favorite: "I Wanna Go.")

[Click to watch the video]

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14.) Pretty Girls

I know, I know. I expected this to be lower too. Honestly, except for the dialogue in the middle--which sooooooooooo should have been scrapped--this was a lot better than I remembered. It was cheesy, but it was cheesy, lighthearted, silly fun. And Britney was adorable. (OMG! Her little smile and clap in the final bit in the club was just beyond charming.) So, yeah, I think that expectations (and that horrid dialogue in the middle; Iggy was so, so bad) hurt this more than anything. It's cute.

[Click to watch the video]

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15.) I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

I liked this one (I also really liked the song--which I'd never heard before--and apparently did not do very well for Britney, *shrugs*). At first I thought: 'Really, Britney just standing/sitting around a canyon?' But as the video went on it began to work for me. She's reflecting, she needs a moment of reflection, just herself and so there she was surrounded by nature, able to reflect, believe and find herself. So it worked. I liked it. It was beautiful.

[Click to watch the video]

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16.) From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart

OK, first of all... Oh my! Britney looked soooooo beautiful in this video. So, so, soooo pretty! I love her with this hair color. If this is her natural hair color, she should stay this color because it looks GORGEOUS on her! so, so pretty, so flattering... gah, she just looked so beautiful. Ahh! OK, beyond that, I liked this one. I mean, it was sad. He was too late! Oh noes, but it told a story, it fit the narrative of the song and it kept me engaged. Nice. And she looked so, so pretty!

[Click to watch the video]

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17.) Ooh La La

No, this is not like a very good video or anything, so why is it ranked as high as it is? Because, aww... Britney and her boys! So cute! Every time they showed them, laughing and grinning, I couldn't help but "Aww!" and smile knowing they were Britney's boys. And that dress! Dear lord, I absolutely adored that red dress and those shoes (!) that Britney was wearing about slayed me dead. I don't care if she was just standing on a fake background amidst fictional Smurfs, dancing as much as she could for a kid's movie music video, I could stare at shots of that outfit the live long day. So, so pretty! As was her hair! And her pretty, pretty face! So pretty Britney, gorgeous ensemble, Britney and her boys and I don't care... I was aww'ing and ooh'ing enough to make what really wasn't a much-of-an-anything video good enough for me. (I mean, come on! That dress was so, so pretty!)

[Click to watch the video]

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18.) Piece of Me

Ooh, I loved that purple sparkly mini-dress, so cute! Well, this video definitely fit the song beautifully and I loves me some that. Britney looked great, her hair looked fabulous. The video/song did a good job sending up all of the ridiculous bullshit that she has to deal with in a lighthearted way; of course it's really not lighthearted, it's ridiculous bullshit. It's a good video, well-made, it just didn't tug at my emotions and I like videos that tug at my emotions or make me go 'Ooh! Awesome!' This did neither.

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19.) Work Bitch

Lots of good dancing in this one, and I couldn't help but notice that in the outfits where Brit was wearing like 6 inch heels, she barely moved her feet. Yeah, but in the ones where she really danced, she was wearing shoes upon which a human being could reasonably walk. Yeah. Beautiful locales, Britney in the pink dress on the small round platform in the water surrounded by pools was especially striking. I'm not sure what any of this had to do with working hard to achieve luxury and wealth, but it was all very beautiful and Britney looked amazing. So, yeah, the visuals were gorgeous.

[Click to watch the video]

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20.) Scream & Shout

More a Wil.I.Am video than a Britney one (thus on his VEVO channel and not hers), it had a lot of cool, random shots that kept my attention throughout the nearly five-minute run and the color scheme of black, white and gold was nice. Also, Britney looked amazeballs (surprise... Not!). It falls into the lack of story, lack of emotion-tug-age and lack of 'Ooh! Awesome!' categories, but it was cool.

[Click to watch the video]

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21.) Scream & Shout (Remix)

This is very similar to the original, but it's just not as polished looking. It doesn't have the same pizzazz. And I liked Britney's look better in the original. Same color scheme, same random, cool shots--just not as cool. This one also has additional artists in the remix: Hit Boy, Waka Flocka Flame, Lil Wayne and Diddy. The videos are similar enough, though, that they belong next to each other in the ranking.

[Click to watch the video]

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22.) Till the World Ends

Uhm, this is totally an inferior version of "I'm a Slave 4 U" (although TTWE is a better song). Like TOTALLY. In just about every way, except, yeah, IAS4U is way better. Like TOTALLY. And that's all I have to say about that.

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23.) Radar

This fit the song's story almost too well to the degree that it was kinda boring. Britney and the guy who was on her radar had zero chemistry and there was so much focus on the horse, I seriously wondered at one point if there was going to be a twist that Britney was working with that guy and they were horse thieves or something. Would have been more interesting. Alas, I was actually feeling bad for the rich guy, well, until his horrendous acting when he found the necklace. No, even that didn't stop me from feeling bad for him. That was the main problem with the video. Britney's character just left him high and dry... it wasn't cool. She was kind of a jerk to him; he treated her well and she just ditched him for a younger, cheaper model because he made her tingly and she did so without a word. Not cool.

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24.) Everytime

This would have been a lot higher had the ending not been so muddled, but apparently they wound up changing the concept a couple of times which explains that. First Britney's original concept had her dying apparently, but they were afraid that would lead to some suicides (which I can totally see). She also originally cut her wrist, not had a head wound (which fits with the bloody wrist in the final shots). So there was a lack of clarity in the last half of the video that was so very present in the first half. Ooh, but that first half was just excellent. It was stellar all-around. Britney and Stephen Dorff sold the story well, conveyed the pain and frustration; it was very well done. But the second half, Britney watching the mother and the baby, and then coming back to life with the smile at the end, it just didn't quite stick the landing. Knowing that it went through so many changes, that makes sense now. However, so much of it was so strong, I don't want to discount was what good.

[Click to watch the video]

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25.) Toxic

Hmm, it told a story, I guess? Britney, the spy! It just didn't fit the song like at all, and it was cheesy, but it was fun. Brit looked ridiculously gorgeous. But it was sooooo cheesy. But it was fun and Brit looked gorgeous, so yeah, there's that, still I probably won't ever watch it again because it just... *sigh* It didn't work for me because this song is so damn good and it deserved a video that worked *with* the song, dangit! *double sigh*

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26.) Lucky

This wasn't bad; it had moments of greatness actually, just not enough. The first half of it, up until the "Academy Awards" scene was pretty good. Britney watching "Lucky," appearing at different spots, and then the reveal that she was filming, seeing Lucky harried, that stuff was good, but then once the "awards" happened, and Britney was in a different outfit and "Lucky" saw her, and so on and so forth, it was a bit too much, but A for effort. The idea, the concept was there, but it kinda all fell apart for me.

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27.) Stronger

Damn, the first part of the video was really good. The mix of Britney dancing against the completely black backdrop that was interspersed with her at that white-decorated party and how some of the dance moves (with the chair--really awesome) effected the party was really cool. And then... she was in the car, and the chair was in the road and she braked to avoid hitting it and then it was raining and she was back in the black room with a cane and then on the road and her clothes were fashionably torn or something and there was a large spinny thing that became a bridge and she was on the road and she was stronger. I don't know. It made no fucking sense. But the first part of the video was really, really good. I really liked that part a lot! The rest, though? It was just a mess.

[Click to watch the video]

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28.) ...Baby One More Time

Honestly, I expected this to better than it was. I think it's one of those things that has taken on iconic status because of memory recall. Britney in the schoolgirl outfit, the song and all helped create BRITNEY! But the video? Eh. It's just Britney in different outfits (including, yes, the schoolgirl outfit) dancing (yes, very well) and looking adorably sad whenever she sings the line "My loneliness is killing me". (Seriously, though, girl with those big doe eyes looked so, so cute!) But, overall, yeah, the video itself is just not that memorable beyond Britney in the schoolgirl outfit. That image? Is iconic. The rest of the video? Not so much.

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29.) Boys

I have this ranked as low as I do because this song deserved a better video, and the production values were clearly high... but this was a letdown. The introduction of Britney walking into the party promised something fabulous, Britney looked great, the dancing was good and yet there was no there there. Nothing happened. There was an elaborate set-piece, cameos, Britney and Pharrell, and then a whole lotta nothing. Boring. Very disappointing.

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30.) Sometimes

She's so sweet and pretty... and that's all I pretty much got from this. Look, it's a generic pop video of its time. Dancing in between shots of singer pining after hot video love interest with no real story. Not much there. But Britney sure was loaded with sweet, sweet charisma.

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31.) Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know

Yup, Herb Ritts definitely directed this one. Britney and some random hunk frolicking in a tropical paradise making out while Brit makes sad faces because he won't say those three little words. The main thing I got from this is that Britney looks amazingly beautiful, just absolutely radiant in this one. Like WHOAH! But it's a pretty boring music video in and of itself. It didn't help that Britney looked bored as fuck with the random hot dude and they had like zero chemistry (at least in my eyes).

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32.) Make Me...

I had a problem with this one. Not the concept, Britney and her friends "auditioning" guys for Britney's new video, but the ending with Britney all but sexing up the dude (while her friends watched) and especially the "glamour" shots of Britney in the lit hallway. What the everloving fuck was that? She was wearing practically nothing with several shots of her literally just shaking her ass. Could the director, Randee St. Nicholas, have treated her any more like a sex object if he tried? I know the original video by David Chappelle was apparently worse, but damn, that this was better is really sad. Not good. It made me uncomfortable watching it. I didn't like it.

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33.) Overprotected

Britney dancing, Britney looking super-pretty, Britney in a warehouse dancing? The walls are closing in on super-pretty Britney dancing. Uhm, yeah. That is all this video offered up. :Yawn:

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34.) Born To Make You Happy

Uhm, OK. Pretty typical Britney video from the early days. Earnest Britney singing while she looks into the camera intercut with dancing, lots of great dancing (though, this one had some weird sped-up moments), and a good-looking love interest who had a rando pillow-fight with Britney that she won! Eh, it was OK. Totally and completely generic Britney video. This one is ranked this low because I liked the locale better in the videos above.

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35.) (You Drive Me) Crazy

She's pretty, she's hot, she adorable... that smile/laugh at 2:50, aww! Still, yeah, other than Britney being Britney and the dancing, OK and ooh! Melissa Joan Hart and Adrian Grenier (movie tie-in), not much going for the video. Yes, yes, the dancing is good, but I need more.

[Click to watch the video]

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36.) Do Something

I think if Britney hadn't looked bored out of her mind, this might have been more fun, but Britney looked bored out of her mind, totally going through the motions. In the clouds in a car in the beginning (whu?!) and the rest was just hanging out with her girls in a club, plus the obligatory Britney half-naked, dancing/posing solo set-pieces. :Yawn: Really not impressed. And I didn't like the stick-straight, kinda straw-like looking hair phase here.

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37.) 3

Uhm, did she have no budget for this? It was just Britney against a white backdrop and a handful of female dancers holding onto a horizontal pole above their heads, and then a different white backdrop with a panel of lights and some male dancers, plus obligatory solo Brit close-ups. That was the video. Yeah. So, uhm, yeah. OK, then. Not very impressive. I really have nothing more to say about it.

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38.) Gimme More

Wow, that was not good. It started out so promising.* Blonde Britney and blonde friends sitting at the bar and then lo and behold there's brunette Britney** up there pole dancing and... what is going on? Well, nothing. Brunette Britney just proceeded to dance the whole video with a few brief cuts to smiling blonde Britney while her friends joined brunette Britney on stage. And that was the entire video. Wow. Just so not good.

* Wasn't this the video that was supposed to be like so much more awesome but it wound up being changed or cut or something? Britney stans let me know.

** Since she went brunette, I wish she'd gone the lighter brunette of "From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart," because I thought that color looked absolutely gorgeous on her, even better than the blonde. This one is a bit too harsh on her.

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39.) Oops!... I Did It Again

Dear God, that was awful. Is this considered one of Britney's iconic videos? I sure hope not. If so, why? It makes no sense, has nothing at all to do with the song. And geez, the random bit with the Titanic-themed dialogue is supremely stupid. It's just a boatload of stupid all-around. Yes, she can dance. Yes, she looks good in a skin-tight, leather body-suit, but... ugh, this was so bad. So bad. This could have been such a cute, sassy, awesome video for this song... but this? No, no, no! Thank goodness, it was the last video directed by Nigel Dick. :shudders:

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40.) Break the Ice

This is probably a better video than I'm ranking it, but I'm not a fan of anime (hey, this list is subjective), and the blonde in the video doesn't even look like Britney, like at all, and I was bored half-way through, I couldn't even finish it. Ugh. So, yeah. At least the above video kept watching through to the end because Britney is adorable and charistmatic! Hello!

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41.) Kill the Lights

Same as the one above, I'm just not that into animated videos, sorry. But at least here, the blonde looks more like Britney, well, a little more like her. :Shrugs:

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Sources: Britney Spears VEVO | Wil.I.Am VEVO | Perfume (Britney Spears Song) (Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Bogwitch: Love and Rockets - Terrybogwitch on January 4th, 2018 11:26 am (UTC)
Britney isn't my thing, but some circumstances led me to Toxic and I actually have a fondness for its video. It might be the hair colours.
Arabian: ATttD - Sorryarabian on January 8th, 2018 06:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, she was never really mine either. (Toxic is probably my favorite song by her.) Doing this actually gave me a greater appreciate for her than I'd ever had though. I think my issue with the Toxic video is because I love the song so much and the video just makes no flipping sense in conjunction with the song and it annoys my OCD, LOL!
Florencia: Christmas (Ian & Nina)florencia7 on January 5th, 2018 02:33 pm (UTC)
So that's what you're doing when you're not doing what you should be doing, i.e. all TVD-related posts LOL

What an awesome ranking! Britney was my first (and probably only) music idol. When I was in high school I had all of her cassettes (!) available at that time in my country. I stopped listening to her music in college, but the sentiment remained and I still really like her. I think she is fantastic, very talented, and seems like a very nice person overall.

I actually didn't know all the songs in this ranking, and I haven't seen most of these videos. So they were all fun to revisit/discover. I very much agree with all of your comments. They were great to read.

I'm going to check out your Taylor Swift ranking too as soon as I find the time :)

♥!

PS. I know it's after Christmas but due to my LJ absence I didn't get to use this lovely icon this past holiday season at all, so there it goes ;)
Arabian: Ian & Nina(PS)07arabian on January 8th, 2018 06:18 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I think it's partially psychologically that I'm taking so long to finish these posts. You see once I finish these posts I start on my rewatch for my re-posts with new eyes and then I'm done. That's it for my TVD posts really. Then it's officially *officially* over for me. I no longer have anything planned for TVD. There's nothing new on the horizon for TVD for me. As long as I drag this out though, the show is still ongoing in a way for me.

As for this ranking... I have a few musical idols (Celine Dion, Kelly Clarkson, Demi Lovato... in order of how I found them. Demi is my current favorite). By doing this, I actually found myself much more appreciative of Britney. I had liked a few of her songs before, and always found her likeable (and, yes, from what I've heard--definitely a nice person overall), but she's really talented and I like her a lot now.

Yeah, there were songs I didn't know either so it was fun discovering some of them through doing this.

I'm going to check out your Taylor Swift ranking too as soon as I find the time.

I re-posted the Taylor one here on my LJ and put that link in this post so you'll see it here instead of on ONTD. :)

Cute icon, of course!




Edited at 2018-01-08 06:24 pm (UTC)