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15 August 2012 @ 08:17 am
Fic: How To Make a Better Vampire 1/? (TVD)  
Title: How To Make A Better Vampire
Chapter: 01 – Not Yet [Featured Characters: Elena, Damon, Stefan, Jeremy, Matt and Meredith]
Author: JenniferH (Arabian)
Rating: M (For future chapters/language, sex, violence)
Summary: Post 3.22 -- Elena grapples with who she is as a vampire, struggling for control as she tries to find herself and accept who she loves (spoiler: it's Damon!) while friends and enemies grapple with their own choices in this new world.
Word Count: 4,888
Disclaimer: The Vampire Diaries, and all her characters as presented, belong to Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, the CW, etc., etc., so on and so forth. ;)
Notes: Thank you to my group of wonderful beta-readers who made this fic a ton better than it would have been otherwise. Following canon here, so there will be Stefan/Elena and as portrayed on the show, but fear not, this is very definitely a Damon/Elena story (with other pairings referenced, and some featured (Stefan/Rebekah, Matt/Rebekah, Stefan/Caroline).

After I had finally digested the season 03 finale, I began to think up where they could go from there, especially with regards to Damon and Elena. One narrative stuck in my head and as I continuing weaving it I became so fixated with two major turning points in the story that I just had to try and write it. I've immersed myself in this for the last two and half months, trying to avoid spoilers or even read other fic. I have a head-start of sorts on the story and am hoping that I can stay at this pace so that I can deliver chapters at a steady pace. I can't promise that will stay the case, but I'm going to try. :)

XxxxX

Chapter 01: Not Yet

Jeremy stood quietly just staring at her and Elena could only gaze back at him, all of the regret, the pain she was feeling bleeding from her eyes. His were teary, but his body trembled with relief and a smile flitted about his lips. He held out his hand to her and she found herself smiling back, her first genuine one since ... her mind skittered away. Not yet, she thought. I can't go there, not yet. She took a deep breath, marveling that she still could. She had never thought of that. She was dead but she was breathing.

"Elena," he said her name, his voice soft, bringing her back into the present. "Please come in." She stretched her arm toward her brother, her fingers reaching for his hand and she easily passed through the barrier. Thank goodness they'd put both her and Jeremy's names on the lease after Jenna's death even if his age technically made Jeremy's ownership less-than-legal. A little compulsion from Damon and the officer had contentedly added a 16-year-old to the official document.

"Jumping the gun there, kid. She doesn't need an invite until she fully transitions." Elena looked at Damon, who offered up a ghost of a smile.

"We didn't know," she said softly, unable to smile in return. Stepping inside, Elena expected it to feel different, but it all felt, looked the same. There were the stairs just to her right, the entrance to the kitchen to her left, and the living room ahead. Beside her was the shelf full of pictures and bric-a-brac, the stupid bowl full of fake, fuzzy fruit. Absentmindedly, she let her fingers brush over their surface, wondering if it would start to feel ... more now or only after she fully transitioned. A shudder ran through her body at the thought. Jeremy reached for her, but Damon swiftly stepped inside and between them, an apologetic look on his face.

"Too soon, Jere, she might …" Damon's fangs popped out for a split-second, and Jeremy nodded in understanding, moving back.

Elena heard Stefan hesitantly enter behind her and then Meredith's low heels clicking on the floor. The doctor moved to Jeremy and gave him a hug; Elena heard her whisper that it would be alright. She wondered if that was thanks to vampire hearing or if any human could. So many questions, she thought. So much I don't know, and then a quick, unbidden surge of anger towards Stefan for keeping so much of what a vampire was from her. She knew bits and pieces, but most of what she knew she'd learned from Damon or Caroline. Not Stefan. Never Stefan, the eternal boy.

She laughed, and now she was the eternal girl. Well, eternal young adult. "At least I'm legal," she muttered.

Everyone was quiet, the silence building before Jeremy broke it, his voice high with anxiety. "So, you're not a vampire?"

Damon shook his head. "Not yet, Jeremy. She needs to feed." He reached out and touched Elena's arm. She was still and then she turned towards him, flashing back to when she'd first seen him upon waking.

XxxxX

Elena jerked upright, releasing a huge gasp. She looked to her side and there was Stefan, steady, safe Stefan, but with a haunted look in his eyes. She didn't know where they were, why she felt like this, what had happened. The last thing she remembered was Rebekah standing on the bridge, the truck going down, the weight of the water trapping her again, and then Stefan. Elena turned to fully face him, the first round of questions on her lips when the doors burst open and Damon came rushing in.

Amidst everything, all of her confusion and pain, there was a sudden rush of relief so intense that she closed her eyes at the feel of it spreading throughout her body. She remembered in that moment that he was supposed to be dead, she had said goodbye to him, broken his heart for the last time. She remembered – her eyes flew open and she looked back at Stefan. They were both supposed to be dead.

"What happened?"


XxxxX

Stefan shut the door behind the group of them and cleared his throat. Elena tore her gaze from Damon to look at … well, she supposed he was her boyfriend again. They'd never officially broken up anyway, but attempted murder and a general air of douchbaggery pretty much signaled a relationship's end. But when he was safe, steady Stefan once more, Elena chose that safe and steady and now she had a vampire boyfriend again.

And he had a vampire girlfriend again.

Elena laughed and this time it was very nearly a giggle with a hint of hysteria that she quickly stifled. Damon's fingers tightened momentarily and Stefan cleared his throat even louder. She dropped her arm from Damon's grasp, his touch starting to burn and faced Stefan. His eyes were kind, sad and so full of sorrow. His brow was furrowed and she suddenly wanted to cry.

She didn't want to be a vampire. As if reading her mind Stefan finally spoke, reminding her again. "You don't have to do this."

Jeremy made a low sound, an incoherent cry. Without looking to him, she straightened her shoulders and nodded slightly. "Yes, I do. I do, Stefan." Why are you telling me I don't? Why are you making it harder? She wanted to scream at him, but swallowed it into a bitter thought.

She turned to Damon. "We don't have any blood bags here."

Before he could respond, Jeremy took a step forward and piped up, "you can drink my blood." Elena looked at him. He nodded, his gaze sincere. "I want you to."

"Elena …" Stefan began, his unspoken words telling her that she didn't have to do this. She could just not transition, die a natural human death and leave Jeremy all alone. No parents, no aunt or uncle, no guardian, no one who loved him completely, who he loved in turn. She didn't even bother speaking again; she just gave a sharp shake of her head and turned to her brother.

"I won't drink from you," she held up a hand before Jeremy could protest, "but if you put it in a glass -–" Elena paused, and fought a sudden wave of weakness. She was so tired, aching so badly, having been in the not-quite-a-vampire phase yet for almost two hours now.

XxxxX

"That's a good fucking question!" Damon spit out angrily, sparing a glance at his brother before turning his gaze back to Elena.

She looked at him beseechingly, without words begging him to calm down. He was still for a long moment and then he nodded sharply, releasing an unsteady breath. Elena sent a smile his way. "Thank you," she whispered, and then louder. "I thought -– I thought that Klaus was dead, and all of you …" Elena trailed off.

Damon shook his head. "I guess Klaus wasn't our great times a thousand grand-pappy after all."

"But Ric, he's --" she couldn't finish. Damon gave her a terse nod and looked away as she began to silently cry. He turned to his brother, an edge in his voice. "Your turn."

Elena wiped at her tears and took a deep breath. She looked at Stefan who remained silent. "What happened? I just remember being on the bridge. Matt was driving. We were in his truck." She stopped and closed her eyes, seeing Rebekah standing before them, the headlights shining brightly on her. Elena swallowed deeply, noting a steady ache in her mouth when she did so. She pushed through, not stopping to question it. "Rebekah was there, Matt swerved and then we --" she couldn't continue for a moment, her lips pressed tight.

"The truck crashed through the bridge and you were in the water. Elena, I'm so sorry," Stefan nearly whispered; there was anguish lodged in every syllable. "I couldn't get to you in time. I couldn't save you."

Damon swore angrily in a low, fast murmur. Elena glanced at him. He stood stock still, but he was positively vibrating with emotion, his fists clenched tight. She had to look away.

"Matt? Where's Matt?"

"He's -- he's fine, Elena." Stefan's voice was still low and there was something, something she knew that he wasn't saying. Her eyes flitted close as she tried to remember and then she did.
I told him to save Matt, not me and he did. Oh, thank God, he did. But … "Why am I here? Stefan?" Her voice started to rise as the implications of his words -- 'I couldn't save you' -- began to sink in. "I should be dead." Damon practically hissed from the edge of the metal table she lay upon. She gazed down at the gurney. "I'm in the morgue," she breathed. "Oh, God! I'm dead, but --" Elena broke off and looked to Damon.

"The good doctor gave you some vamp blood for your undisclosed apparently near-fatal concussion earlier." Then he let out a soft sigh, and his voice lowered, the edge disappearing. "Elena?"

She wouldn't look up.

"Elena, look at me."

She wouldn't. She wouldn't look up, she wouldn't face him, wouldn't hear the words. Not yet.

"Elena," Stefan said, pain in his voice and Elena couldn't deny them both, but she couldn't deal with the heartbreak on Stefan's face.
He never wanted this for me. He knew I didn't want this. She raised her head and met Damon's piercing gaze. He nodded, his lips parting and she knew that nothing would ever be the same once he spoke.

"You're not dead, Elena. You're in transition." And he didn't mean what he said next, she knew he didn't really, but she appreciated that he said the words none-the-less. "I'm sorry."


XxxxX

"If you want me to stay …" Meredith offered. Before she could respond, Damon stepped up.

"Yeah, no, you've done enough. Thank you, on your way."

"Damon --" she began, but he shook his head sharply. Elena watched their interaction, as if from a distance.

"I know, I know," he said, his tone softer now. "You go home, sleep and I'll deal with the council and the mess that Ric left behind." There was just the slightest catch on his best friend's name. "Don't go into work tomorrow, though. I've got to pull stuff together first before I dazzle them into obedience with my charm and take advantage of their cluelessness." He smirked, doing that eye thing of his.

He's being so kind, Elena thought, even as she felt a completely ridiculous flicker of jealousy. He's showing her the Damon only I see. He's not pretending to be the big jackass that everyone is supposed to hate. Was it Ric's death? Mine that is making him drop the act? She almost asked him, but then Jeremy called out from the kitchen, asking how much blood was needed. She shuddered, her stomach clenching, her jaws aching at the very mention of the word.

Elena couldn't turn to Stefan, who had closed the door behind Meredith and she could feel the weight of his stare upon her, the reminder that she could just die. She looked desperately at Damon, his attention once more focused on her. "I don't know," she whispered. "Not a lot, Damon. I don't want to drink -- please, just what I need. Please." Tears danced at the corners of her eyes, her throat felt raw. Her body was so heavy. Please don't fight me on this, she thought. Please.

He nodded, and reached out, his fingers cupping her face. She moved closer, breathing in the feel of him. He would take care of her, she knew that he would. He always did.

"Elena," Stefan murmured and she felt a sudden pierce of guilt. She chose Stefan, she chose to be with him and here she was turning to Damon, relying on Damon, accepting comfort from Damon. She stepped back and turned away. The distance between them suddenly felt like a million miles.

"You two wait here," Damon’s words were clipped, emotionless, as he looked past her gaze. "I'll help Jeremy measure." He almost smirked, but couldn't quite pull it off. Instead, his mouth tightened into a bitter line and he walked away just like he had in the morgue.

XxxxX

Before she could respond to Damon, Meredith came rushing in. Elena looked at the doctor, knowing that she was here, that she would be a vampire because of this woman. "What did you do?" Elena asked, the anger she expected wasn't there, but rather pain.

Meredith was quiet, her expression filled with such apology that she was near tears. "I'm sorry, Elena, I never – I never meant for this to happen to you. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry," scoffed Stefan. "You shouldn't have done it." His voice was low, resentment at the situation simmering in every word. "You have no right to be playing God with people's lives."

"Oh, shut up, Stefan. Elena's still here, that's what matters." Damon shrugged. "It would have happened anyway eventually." He spared a look of bitterness towards Elena. "After all, you can't have always without forever."

"Stop it!" Meredith cried out. "The paramedics who brought Elena in don't know anything about the vampire situation, but the higher-ups do and if they hear about a girl who was brought in dead but is walking around looking very much alive, they'll figure out that Elena is --" she paused and took a deep breath, "they'll figure it out."

She looked up at Damon. "I tested their blood. They don't have vervain in their system so you can compel them. They have to believe that she and Matt both lived."

Damon nodded, then cocked his head to the side, confusion clouding his face. "Wait, the higher-ups know what?"

Sighing, she bit her lip and quickly brushed a tear away. "I didn't get to tell you yet with…" she waved her hands around, "everything, but Ric warned me yesterday that the council, including members of the hospital board, know about what I've been doing. They're going to get the medical board to revoke my license." She let out a shaky breath. "Damon, I think the council knows everything."

"Right, right, they know about Blondie and wolf-boy, and that Liz and Carol know about Blondie and wolf-boy. Psycho!Ric probably told them about me and Stefan too." He began pacing the room. "Think, think."

"Think later," Meredith bit out, and then added with a worried frown, "well, not too much later. Now you have to compel those paramedics and get Elena out of here."

Elena slowly slid off the gurney. "You do that Damon, I have to go see Matt before I leave."

She expected him to argue but he just nodded and walked out. Meredith trailed behind him, leaving Elena alone with Stefan in the tension-filled room.


XxxxX

"Please, don't try and change my mind. Jeremy needs me." Elena faced Stefan, trying to smile. "And, we'll have forever." Her smile wouldn't come. Unbidden, the thought danced in her mind, I never wanted forever with you. If guilt had pierced before, now it stabbed her in the gut. She pushed past it. "I chose you, Stefan. I was coming back to Mystic Falls to you."

He didn't point out that by making that choice, she died. Neither did Elena. Stefan simply nodded, smiled and then folded her in his arms. It didn't feel right; she didn't feel safe … not anymore. You let me die, she thought, but said, "You saved Matt."

"You wanted me to." He paused, and she could see the guilt was still there, the fear that as time passed she would realize that she hated him for letting her die. She couldn't do that to him. He had too much guilt, too many demons weighing him down. He respected her decision; he accepted what she chose. She couldn't, wouldn't fault him for that. "You did, Elena?" The press for reassurance broke her heart. She couldn't break his.

"Of course, you did what I asked you to." Leaning up, she gave him a quick kiss. "Thank you." A quick smile ghosted his lips, and the warmth and love in his eyes reminded her exactly why she chose him.

Leaning in, he pressed his forehead against hers, murmuring softly. "I do love you, Elena."

"I love you too," she whispered back, but her eyes closed and she choked back a cry because their declarations didn't wrap her up in the same warmth of only six months ago. Still she nodded, determinedly reinforcing her words, and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"If you two are done making up for lost time, we've got a vampire to make."

Elena pulled away from Stefan and turned to Damon, but was unable to meet his gaze. She mused that maybe the first thing she should do as a vampire was switch her damn emotions off because making a choice hadn't made things easier. She shook the thought away and nodded at Damon, Jeremy hovering behind him. "Let's do this."

The four of them walked up the stairs. She expected it to feel like the longest climb, but in seconds they were in her room. She and Jeremy looked at each other nervously, a small glass of red liquid in his hand. Stefan looked out the window while Damon leaned against the doorjamb, nonchalant boredom faked across his face. Moments passed and no one did anything. With a roll of his eyes and a quick movement, Damon plucked the glass from Jeremy and handed it to Elena.

"Drink."

She looked up at him, fear taking hold and then the smell of her brother's blood flooded her senses. She felt the heavy pooling beneath her eyes and the sharp pinch as her fangs popped out for the first time. She let out a cry, mirrored by Jeremy's response. There was a thud to her left, Stefan hitting the wall.

XxxxX

"I should have saved you." Stefan's head was bowed. "I went back for you, I did, but it was too late. You were gone, Elena," his voice cracked, full of emotion and he was so the boy that she fell for that Elena's heart was flooded with relief again, this time at the realization that Stefan was still here and not gone, taken with Klaus' destruction.

She took a deep breath, easily falling back into the role of the concerned, absolving girlfriend. "You would have if you could. I know that, Stefan." He looked up then, the touch of uncertainty lessened in his eyes now. "I needed you to save Matt, and you did." He was quiet, but nodded, managing a smile. Elena sat still for a moment longer before turning and easing herself off of the gurney. Stefan rushed to her, but she stood steady. "I'm fine," she assured him. "And speaking of Matt, I do want to see him."

"Of course you do."

She looked around the room, the morgue, struck anew that she was ... gone. She sighed. "Does he know? About me?"

Stefan nodded.

Pausing, she let out an unsteady breath. Her head tilted slightly to the side, and she felt a heaviness begin to develop behind her eyes. "And Jeremy?"

"I didn't tell him, but Dr. Fell did. She called him when we came in, but told him not to come here because it could bring too much attention to your, uh … you." Elena wiped away a teary streak. "He's waiting at home for you," Stefan hesitated, and then reached out to hold her hands. "Elena, he'll be there waiting. For whatever you decide to do."

She shook her head. "Do?" And then in a rush, her eyes widened and she gasped. "I don't have to ..." she trailed off as he shook his head, his soft eyes full of sympathy. And pain, but there was understanding as well.

"Not if you don't want to." He blinked quickly, and his eyes watered, but no tears fell. He even managed another halfhearted smile for her benefit. "It's your decision."

Elena pulled away. She turned to face the wall, bringing her hands to her face as she realized what he was saying, what she could decide and what it would mean, who she would be leaving behind. Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, Caroline.

Jeremy.

"Oh God, Jeremy," she cried and her decision was made. She couldn't leave him alone. Elena shut her eyes tight and didn't fight the tears, mourning her humanity, allowing herself the moment to regret her decision. And then she was done. She took a deep breath, straightened her back and wiped her tears away. Turning to face Stefan, she threw on a shaky smile and nodded. "I have to. For Jeremy."

"Elena, you don't have to decide right now. You can think --"

"I need to see Matt." Her voice was sharper than she intended, but she couldn't, she wouldn't second-guess herself.

Stefan closed his eyes, his mouth a grim line. Then he nodded. "I'll go with you."

She shook her head. "No, you go find Damon, take care of everything. After what Meredith said, we can't have any loose ends. Besides, Matt probably isn't too happy with you right now." A flash of pained regret crossed his face. "No, you did what I wanted, but he --" she sighed. "He probably won't understand, not right now, so I think it's best you just ... don't come." She reached out and grabbed onto his hand for a quick squeeze of comfort. "I'll meet you guys in the parking lot, OK? About twenty minutes. Then we'll go home, and do what has to be done."

"You don't ..." he tried again.

"I do." Elena nodded firmly. "For Jeremy."


XxxxX

Damon lifted the glass, bringing the blood closer. Elena's body trembled, screaming for the taste. She couldn't move.

"Elena, please." Jeremy's voice dropped to a whisper, and she could hear the threat of tears in his tone. "I can't lose you."

She nodded, but had one more question before she took the blood. "Will I get kicked out the house once I drink this? Or is there a time delay?"

From her left, Stefan's voice was low. "It will take an hour or so before the blood fully transitions in your system. Jeremy will have to invite you in later."

Elena let out a shaky breath and accepted the glass, her gaze never leaving Damon's steady look as she downed the few mouthfuls. A sensation unlike any she'd ever felt before filled every part of her. She could feel the blood running, racing, dancing through her veins. The taste buds on her tongue flared in her mouth, Damon's eyes suddenly looked brighter, more beautiful than ever before. She absently dropped the glass and reached up, her fingers tracing the inhuman beauty of his face.

"Is she done, Damon?" Jeremy's plaintive voice broke through her trance and she turned to look at him, a cry escaping her. Oh, Jeremy, she thought. My baby brother, you're so young, so precious, I love you so much. Elena took a step towards him and found her attention immediately captured by the cut on his arm. He smelled like heaven. And then a new scent distracted her. She turned; Damon had bitten into his own wrist and the smell of his blood was filling the air and it was different, but interesting.

He moved to Jeremy and told him to drink up. She heard Jeremy's protest as if from a distance, Damon's sniping response that if he didn't heal up that fresh cut, the temptation would be too much and he'd be his sister's first real-live snack from the source. Elena recoiled at the image his words presented. She flung herself onto her bed.

"No." She gulped, breathed heavily and felt her veins smooth out, her fangs recede. "Don't give him vampire blood. Jeremy, go to the bathroom and clean up. I'm fine." She looked up at Damon who had an eyebrow raised in skepticism. "I'm fine. I just need something to control the edge." Her mind went searching.

“Here,” Damon said as he walked over to the dresser and picked up a bottle he'd apparently brought up with him. “Scotch. It will help.” Picking up the fallen glass, he filled it to the rim and handed her the drink. She gulped it down quickly, not even feeling the burn.

Jeremy came out of the bathroom, smelling of antiseptic sitting atop the blood, but she was fine. I'm fine, she thought vehemently.

XxxxX

"You're fine? Really, Elena? I just -- God, I could kill Stefan. I could just -–" Matt broke off, his face red, tears wetting his cheeks.

"I'm fine, Matt." She held back tears of her own. "Stefan did what I asked him to. He saved you. If you had died because of me, I couldn't have lived with that."

"And I can? I took you out of town to begin with. It was my fault."

"No!"

"Yes, it was! Jeremy and I planned it all behind your back. If I hadn't ..." He trailed off, unable to speak, too choked up.

Elena leaned forward, and pulled him into a hug. "No, Matt. This is not your fault. Not yours, not Jeremy's."

He shook out of her grasp and looked her straight in the eyes. "Elena, this is wrong. I shouldn't be here." He pulled his arms free and punched the bed angrily. "You should be here. It should be you in this hospital bed with these stupid needles stuck in you. Alive. Stefan should have --" he broke off again, shaking his head.

"No, Matt, I wanted him to save you."

"I'm sorry, Elena, but I don't care what you wanted and Stefan shouldn't have either. You save the girl you love." He scoffed. "Not her ex-boyfriend."

"Matt," she began, but he was still talking.

"And Rebekah? God, I'm so stupid. I'm such an idiot. You know I thought she kinda liked me. But, nope, hey, Matt, why don't you take another dive?" His voice dropped to a low mutter. "I hate vampires." And then he shook his head, "Elena, I -– I'm sorry."

"No, no. Everything that's happened, it's my fault." She sniffed back tears. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He shook his head. "It's not, Elena. None of this is. You're just as much caught up in this crazy mess as all of us. This started hundreds of years ago, right? We're just, I dunno, the consequences. I don't blame you. I don't hate you." He swiped at his tears and took a deep breath. "I don't even hate vampires. Not Caroline, not even Damon, and I don't, I couldn't hate you, no matter what you are."

"And Stefan?"

He grimaced.

"Matt, he was doing what I wanted."

"I'm sorry, Elena, but I'm not ready to not hate Stefan right now. He should have saved you, not me." He offered a bitter smile. "Damon would have saved you."

She looked down, biting her lip. "I know. And I don't know if I could have forgiven him for it."

Matt looked at her; he wore a bittersweet smile. "You would have. You always forgive. Even Damon." He nudged her with his hand until she looked up. "Especially Damon."


XxxxX

"OK, kiddies, time to go." Damon clapped his hands.

"Wait, what?" Jeremy looked up, confused.

Elena shook her head. "Damon, I'm not leaving my home."

Squinting his eyes, and with a click of his tongue, he nodded. "Yeah, you are." Before she could protest, he held up placating hands and continued, "you'll wake up and be thrown out of here because you haven't been invited in --"

"But I did," Jeremy protested, clearly not having been paying attention earlier, Elena thought with a sigh, realizing that Damon was right. Damn him.

"As a vampire, fully-transitioned." Damon finished with a look Jeremy's way. "So, you stay at the boarding house without the presence of baby brother's succulent blood to tempt you and we get you started on the road to calm, cool and in control vampire-dom. Then we can try and return you to some semblance of normal."

Elena looked over at Stefan. He nodded, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Damon stiffen slightly. She ignored the tension between the brothers and looked towards hers. "Jeremy, are you OK with that? Will you be alright alone?"

He hesitated for a moment, and then met Damon's gaze. After a silent exchange between the two, he looked back to Elena and nodded. "Yeah, I'll be good. You need to take care of yourself right now." He stood up and began to walk to her, then stopped. "Uh, I'd hug you, but you might …" he mimed a vampire attack and laughed nervously. Damon was the only one who joined him.

Shaking his head, he clapped Jeremy on the shoulder. "No sense of humor, these two, Jere." Elena noticed that it seemed to comfort her brother. She wiped away a tear and stood up herself.

"OK," her gaze swept the room, including both Stefan and Damon. "Let's go."

Next
 
 
 
sumeria: Damon/Elena cutesumeria on August 15th, 2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
I am really liking your take on this so far! Especially the degree to which Jeremy is factoring into Elena's decision, because you're totally right. She absolutely cannot just die on him if she has a choice, that would be the most selfish thing in the world.

I'm also super digging the dynamic between her and the brothers, where Damon is the one who is actually her emotional support and Stefan is the one she *wants* to want for emotional support. It captures where they are on the show now very well, in my opinion.

Awesome beginning, and really looking forward to more!
Arabian: Damon & Elena07arabian on August 16th, 2012 04:18 am (UTC)
Especially the degree to which Jeremy is factoring into Elena's decision, because you're totally right. She absolutely cannot just die on him if she has a choice, that would be the most selfish thing in the world.

I'll be really, really surprised if Jeremy is not the deciding reason for her choosing to turn. I can't see how it won't be, you know?

Stefan is the one she *wants* to want

That's a theme I'll be exploring because while I don't doubt that Elena loves Stefan, it really does feel like she chooses to be with him because she, well, chooses to do so. She wants to be there because she's convinced herself it's right, and being with Damon is not. It's all a big, mixed up crazy that, yeah, I'll be exploring.

The goal is to post a chapter every two weeks. Hopefully I can stay on that target. :)

sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assy: TVD: Elena hugging Damonbadboy_fangirl on August 15th, 2012 09:58 pm (UTC)
So, first of all, YAY. Second of all, you did what I have not had the patience to do, write a long, detailed version of the actual transition. I love all of it, and I'm glad you were willing to do it. I just want to gloss over all of it and move on to the problems when I write, but when I read, this is what I want.

Particular points of delight:
but attempted murder and a general air of douchbaggery pretty much signaled a relationship's end
LOL. Oh, yes, that's a mood killer, Elena.

I like that despite Stefan doing what Elena wanted him too, she does feel anger that he did it. That is just so REAL. Especially considering his choice means she has to make this terrible choice, and she feels like she HAS to because of Jeremy. Oy. Also, choosing Stefan = Death; choosing Damon would have meant life. SO SAD. *weeps*

Damon + Meredith friendshippy feels. I just love the beginning of it here.

Also, 10 points to Gryffindor for Matt being on Team Damon :D

He hesitated for a moment, and then met Damon's gaze. After a silent exchange between the two, he looked back to Elena and nodded. "Yeah, I'll be good. You need to take care of yourself right now." He stood up and began to walk to her, then stopped. "Uh, I'd hug you, but you might …" he mimed a vampire attack and laughed nervously. Damon was the only one who joined him.

Shaking his head, he clapped Jeremy on the shoulder. "No sense of humor, these two, Jere." Elena noticed that it seemed to comfort her brother.

This is just such a great moment, funny, poignant, wonderful.

More, please!

Edited at 2012-08-15 09:59 pm (UTC)
Arabian: Damon & Elena01arabian on August 16th, 2012 05:13 am (UTC)
So, first of all, YAY. Second of all, you did what I have not had the patience to do, write a long, detailed version of the actual transition. I love all of it, and I'm glad you were willing to do it. I just want to gloss over all of it and move on to the problems when I write, but when I read, this is what I want.

Wow, my bigger issue is getting to the problem, hee! I love the set-up, plot can be such a drag sometime. Hahaha. Seriously, I'm glad you're enjoying it. This has been a lot of fun to work on. Hopefully, I can keep it going. :) I hope so, because I've already invested a lot in this bad boy. I tell you, though, shipperjunkie is right, this thing is becoming a monster. I'm at over 22,000 words in just the first four chapters! EEK!

Particular points of delight:

Aww.

I like that despite Stefan doing what Elena wanted him too, she does feel anger that he did it. That is just so REAL.

Right, I wanted her to be angry, but I also wanted her to not express that anger because that's in character for her in my opinion. I kinda felt like this was my opportunity to explain what I was trying to in my posts during episodes 14-17 where I was one of the few who really seemed to get where Elena was coming from even if she wasn't expressing it. Here, I was using my power (muahahaha!) to expose her thought process. Yes, she's angry, but she's not going to express it because that's just not who Elena is. She always holds back, plays the mature one ... except with Damon with because she does let down her guard with him at times.

Especially considering his choice means she has to make this terrible choice, and she feels like she HAS to because of Jeremy. Oy.

Yup.

Also, choosing Stefan = Death; choosing Damon would have meant life. SO SAD. *weeps*

Yeah, sigh. I really wanted to address that in some way in this first chapter.

Damon + Meredith friendshippy feels. I just love the beginning of it here.

You know, I originally planned to not do anything else with Meredith, but thinking on my outline, I can use her some more, so that's good.

Also, 10 points to Gryffindor for Matt being on Team Damon :D

Hee! I don't see how he couldn't be after the things he said to Stefan in the finale. I fear, of course, that won't even remotely be the case in the show, though. *sigh*

This is just such a great moment, funny, poignant, wonderful.

I'm so glad that Jeremy/Damon moment has been picked up by people because we definitely will see an exploration of them as well. Paging Ghost!Ric. :D

More, please!

I'm planning on the posting every two weeks to stay on schedule, so September 03 I think is chapter two. :D

Edited at 2012-08-16 09:23 am (UTC)
Florencia: Elena (You Are Not Dead)florencia7 on August 15th, 2012 10:33 pm (UTC)
AHHHHHH I feel too dazzled to go search for a gif, but something like “MY EMOTIONS!!!” would definitely be in order here ♥_____♥

That was amazing! What a riveting first chapter.

”Not yet, she thought. I can't go there, not yet.” - I love the melody of these words. I love how the overwhelming meaning of them collides with their heart-wrenching simplicity. & I just love the “not yet” leitmotiv of this chapter. It's perfect.

I love how the story starts with Jeremy inviting Elena in. Into their house, their home. It's both beautiful & heartwarming, but at the same time so utterly tragic.

”She remembered in that moment that he was supposed to be dead, she had said goodbye to him, broken his heart for the last time.” - I loved this sentence, the last part especially. Just so pretty.

”"Yes, I do. I do, Stefan." Why are you telling me I don't? Why are you making it harder? She wanted to scream at him, but swallowed it into a bitter thought.” - I love how you address this (because Stefan is SO going to say that lol), how Elena sees ALL the shades of these words.

”She stepped back and turned away. The distance between them suddenly felt like a million miles.” - This entire scene is so intense, so wonderfully written. I could feel every second of it & that distance at the end, it DID feel like a million miles. Your writing makes everything so tangible.

”"It would have happened anyway eventually." He spared a look of bitterness towards Elena. "After all, you can't have always without forever."” - Ha! I love Damon's certainty here & how wrong he is – well, actually, how right he is ;)

”You let me die, she thought, but said, "You saved Matt."” - I LOVED this. The melody itself is to die for. & This is SO Elena. The first half: a thought, the second: what she says out loud. Both true but not on equal rights, not in Elena's world, because in Elena's world certain things don't exist, certain things can't be said.

”The taste buds on her tongue flared in her mouth, Damon's eyes suddenly looked brighter, more beautiful than ever before.” - I love your description of this moment. How everything changes. It's amazing how you actually capture THE moment of Elena's senses becoming heightened. (And of course I love that it's Damon's eyes that are the first object of her newly enhanced perception :)

”She turned; Damon had bitten into his own wrist and the smell of his blood was filling the air and it was different, but interesting.” - I love the word “interesting” here. It just sounds so vampire-y in this context.

”Matt looked at her; he wore a bittersweet smile. "You would have. You always forgive. Even Damon." He nudged her with his hand until she looked up. "Especially Damon."” - I adored the entire Elena/Matt conversation. The last line is ♥

”Shaking his head, he clapped Jeremy on the shoulder. "No sense of humor, these two, Jere." Elena noticed that it seemed to comfort her brother.” - I LOVE this little moment. I love that it happens, that Elena notices it – because it surely is very important to her.

I'm SO happy that you started posting this story! I love it already & I can't wait to read more!!! ♥
Arabian: Damon & Elena18arabian on August 16th, 2012 05:34 am (UTC)
AHHHHHH I feel too dazzled to go search for a gif, but something like “MY EMOTIONS!!!” would definitely be in order here ♥_____♥

I prefer words to gifs, so yay! Thank you.

That was amazing! What a riveting first chapter.

Thank you. I wanted to draw people in even though the "good stuff" isn't here yet, lol!

I love the melody of these words. I love how the overwhelming meaning of them collides with their heart-wrenching simplicity. & I just love the “not yet” leitmotiv of this chapter. It's perfect.

Thank you, and yup, that would be why I titled the chapter "Not Yet." It felt right to go with that while re-reading it through.

I love how the story starts with Jeremy inviting Elena in. Into their house, their home. It's both beautiful & heartwarming, but at the same time so utterly tragic.

Aww, what a lovely way of putting that. Exactly what I was trying to convey.

”She remembered in that moment that he was supposed to be dead, she had said goodbye to him, broken his heart for the last time.” - I loved this sentence, the last part especially. Just so pretty.

Not gonna lie, me too. I loved how that came out.

I love how you address this (because Stefan is SO going to say that lol),

I'll be really surprised if he doesn't.

how Elena sees ALL the shades of these words.

Yeah, as I said above to badboy_fangirl, I kinda felt like this was my opportunity to explain what I was trying to in my posts during episodes 14-17 where I was one of the few who really seemed to get where Elena was coming from even if she wasn't expressing it. Here, I was using my power (muahahaha!) to expose her thought process. Yes, she's angry, but she's not going to express it because that's just not who Elena is.

"You let me die, she thought, but said, "You saved Matt."” - I LOVED this.

Me too. ANd yes, it is SO Elena. This is why I always feel for her even when she's being harsh or distant with Damon because it's so clear everything that she's not saying, you know?

I adored the entire Elena/Matt conversation. The last line is ♥

You know I'm all about Matty now. :)

I LOVE this little moment.

'm so glad that Jeremy/Damon moment has been picked up by people because we definitely will see an exploration of them as well. Paging Ghost!Ric. :D

I'm SO happy that you started posting this story! I love it already & I can't wait to read more!!! ♥

Hopefully, I can stick with my 2 weeks posting schedule! I think I can. Thank you so much. :)
Bogwitch: TVD - Damon Won't Tellbogwitch on August 15th, 2012 11:26 pm (UTC)
An intriguing start.
Arabian: Damon04arabian on August 16th, 2012 04:18 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
shipperjunkieshipperjunkie on August 16th, 2012 02:50 am (UTC)
So amazing. So thrilled you've begun posting this monster. Your writing is awesome. :)
Arabian: Damon & Elena20arabian on August 16th, 2012 04:49 am (UTC)
I know. Now I'm anxious to start posting the good stuff, LOL, but I want to try to keep to the 2-week schedule. We'll see. I'm doing pretty good on getting started on chapter 5. Fingers crossed that one will be done Saturday morning. :)

Thank you. :D
shipperjunkie: Elenashipperjunkie on August 16th, 2012 04:07 pm (UTC)
Looking for to it! I'll nitpick it more than I did the last few chapters (which honestly didn't need it), I got swamped by life, made a mood theme and wrote a fic (so now I feel like I'm a real member of the fandom, I'm a big girl now LOL)

You should be so proud of yourself for this fic. :)
Arabian: Elena03arabian on August 17th, 2012 03:50 am (UTC)
I will go back and read your fic later, right now I just don't want to read anything else. I'm trying to concentrate on just getting a good handle on this one and keeping it going.

I appreciate what you can offer, so thank you so much. It's been a big help. :)
k_stjames: pic#117006481k_stjames on August 16th, 2012 03:00 am (UTC)
Love how this started. Emotionally it's perfect because I could feel all of Elena's conflicting emotions. Loved her conversation with Matt and how he rightly pointed out how wrong Stefan's actions were and called her always forgiving Damon. Thanks for making Matt the voice of reason.

Really loved and thought it was true to the character the way you had Elena flaring with anger at Stefan over his actions or lack of them. You pose a very good question, how does she not grow to hate him eventually for not saving her.

It was interesting to see Damon be her emotional support and have her understand that it should be Stefan but that she didn't want him and he couldn't do it. I hated that she was barely dead 30 seconds and she was reassuring Stefan and telling him she picked him. Totally how I see it happening on the show and it's wrong and annoys me but completely in character for SE.

I liked the bond between Damon and Jeremy and that Elena noticed. Can't wait to read chapter 2. Thanks for sharing.
Arabian: Ian & Nina(PS)01arabian on August 16th, 2012 07:25 am (UTC)
Love how this started.

Thank you.

Emotionally it's perfect because I could feel all of Elena's conflicting emotions.

Phew! That is exactly what I'm trying to get across.

Loved her conversation with Matt and how he rightly pointed out how wrong Stefan's actions were and called her always forgiving Damon. Thanks for making Matt the voice of reason.

I was just following through with his words in the finale, LOL!

Really loved and thought it was true to the character the way you had Elena flaring with anger at Stefan over his actions or lack of them. You pose a very good question, how does she not grow to hate him eventually for not saving her.

Well, I don't think she'll hate him, but I think it needed to be addressed at least verbally by Stefan and in Elena's mind that regardless of him doing what she wanted, he did let her die.

It was interesting to see Damon be her emotional support and have her understand that it should be Stefan but that she didn't want him and he couldn't do it.

Hmm, it was actually supposed to be that she instinctively turned to Damon but is still living in this bubble of belief that it *should* be Stefan, and she's just sorta had a moment of it not working coming to the fore. But Elena is nothing if not denial girl, LOL!

I hated that she was barely dead 30 seconds and she was reassuring Stefan and telling him she picked him. Totally how I see it happening on the show and it's wrong and annoys me but completely in character for SE.

I actually just felt terrible for her because it was in character, and it just made me feel even more for her because that's essentially what she's been doing. Making Stefan (and on occasion, Damon) feel better when girl's life is falling apart. Oh, Elena.

I liked the bond between Damon and Jeremy and that Elena noticed. Can't wait to read chapter 2. Thanks for sharing.

Damon and Jeremy do continue and I'm glad you're enjoying. I'm going for a two-week posting schedule here. I hope I can keep up. :)

Edited at 2012-08-16 09:26 am (UTC)
eolivet on August 16th, 2012 11:49 pm (UTC)
Love this fic. :D Everyone just leaps off the page -- it's intriguing and engaging and just excellently written. :) I ADORE your Damon beyond words -- and he is the master of them here, and I feel for Elena and particularly Jeremy. I'm so touched by the idea that Elena can't be angry at Stefan for not saving her because she doesn't want to add to his guilt. Just...wow.

And I LOVE your Matt. :D The show did a pretty good job, but you really make me a fan. I just love his gentle perspective on things -- he's such a grounding presence. :)

The details are great too (just enough blood from Jeremy, and Elena getting distracted by the smell of vampire blood -- really adds so much :) Elena's heightened senses after she drank were particularly well-written. :)

I'm just SO excited for more, and SO happy you're writing and posting and YAY!!! :D Please update soon!! :)
Arabian: Damon & Elena05arabian on August 17th, 2012 03:54 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. :)

I feel for Elena and particularly Jeremy.

I'm so glad that you're feeling for them, especially Elena. I want people to feel for her, you know!

I'm so touched by the idea that Elena can't be angry at Stefan for not saving her because she doesn't want to add to his guilt. Just...wow.

That's just so Elena. I do totally get her even if I want her to wake up and just walk away from the unhealthiness of this relationship, I get why she doesn't, why she's holding on and how she doesn't realize it. (It does help that while I loathe S/E, I do love Stefan.)

And I LOVE your Matt. :D The show did a pretty good job, but you really make me a fan. I just love his gentle perspective on things -- he's such a grounding presence. :)

I have to give the show credit for it though. It took them long enough, yeah, but the second half of this season (from "Our Town" on), they finally, perfectly utilized him and that's what I'm writing him based on.

I'm just SO excited for more, and SO happy you're writing and posting and YAY!!! :D Please update soon!! :)

Thank you again so much. I'm happy I'm writing again too! (Working on chapter five this weekend. I have a good handle on it so far, so I'm all yay!)
x5vale: torturedx5vale on August 17th, 2012 08:18 am (UTC)
Great start. I love your characterzation. especially Damon and Jeremy. Also I liked the interaction between Damon and the others and loved Matt take on the whole situation. Can't waitfor .
Sorry for the typos, writing from the mobile.
Arabian: Matt & Rebekah01arabian on August 17th, 2012 09:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :)

I'm glad you like the Jeremy/Damon interaction because there is definitely more of that to come.

The show really (finally) made me fall for Matt so I'm glad I've been able to translate that love onto the page. More of him coming up too (with Rebekah!)
Stephanie: Spikeflareonfury on August 20th, 2012 01:21 pm (UTC)
I feel bad for not writing a long descriptive review like everyone else, but they pretty much said it all. ;D This is seriously good, and something that I could totally see happen (and want to happen of course). I can't wait for the next chapter!
Arabian: Damon04arabian on August 20th, 2012 07:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much for commenting. I appreciate that you did that, even without the long review. :)
vanimy: D/E kissvanimy on August 20th, 2012 08:39 pm (UTC)
Yay! You did it! :)

I really loved this first chapter, I thought the whole atmosphere and characters were close to what the show is probably going to do.

Elena was particularly well-written because I understood her conflicting emotions, the way she went back and forth between Stefan and Damon, the conflict between the heart and the head.

I also felt that the relationship between the three of them was really well-depicted, I think you described the little bubble of sweetness that is Stefan and Elena really well (and you also wrote how fragile this bubble has become as well) and of course the connection between Damon and Elena without having Elena suddenly ditch Stefan for Damon which is - let's face it - unrealistic and is sadly often written in other fics. I liked the small touch with Elena being kind of jealous of Damon revealing some vulnerability to Meredith, I thought it was a very realistic reaction.

Also ouch at Damon witnessing Stefan and Elena's moment. Just ouch, I felt the angst so it means it was well-done. ;)

Can't wait for what's next TBH. :)
Arabian: Damon & Elena20arabian on August 23rd, 2012 07:17 am (UTC)
I know that you've had issues with Elena on the show, so this was essentially my chance to put down what I think her train of thought is that isn't seen as clearly on the show, you know? So, yay, I'm glad you're getting her.

Glad you like it. Whee!!

I'm going on posting every 2 weeks so that I can keep a nice schedule going. :)
Heather-Ann: DE Sometimes I believelinsell_farm on September 22nd, 2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
Part One

I love how you start with the meaningful ritual of Jeremy inviting Elena into their home, even though they were unsure if it was neccessary. That situation was fraught with several layers of emotion and which added to the cool segue way into the first flashback. Also, having Damon be the common element between present and past was great.

The first flashback felt just right both in length (not staying away from the present too long) and tone (Elena's initial thought and how quickly she wants answers are exactly as I view Elena in my head).

I'm enjoying Elena's overall irritation with Stefan, and Jeremy's thinly-disguised disgust of him. It's about flippin' time that he had some repercussions from the people closest to him for his actions. Having those emotions carry us into the next flashback was great, and Damon's vehemence was wonderful. I also loved how the flashback picked up exactly where the last one left off. It really establishes the story for me and a good flow of time (which I feel is sometimes lacking in the show).

*sigh* Elena getting Damon to calm down by holding his gaze is just all kinds of wonderful. Their connection is such a strong, palpable thing with so many layers. You captured it beautifully in that one moment. Also, Damon having to look away as Elena cried for Ric was so fitting for him. I feel like it was mostly because the pain is too close for Damon to deal with but also because he can't bear Elena's tears.
Damon's reaction to Stefan telling her he didn't get back to her in time was just perfect. Your Damon voice is second to none, Jenn. His characterization is just brilliant (and you know the extent of my Damon-stanning, so I hope that carries some weight).
How that horribly painful moment for Elena unfolds was so, so, so good, Jenn. Her looking to Damon first but it taking both of them asking for her to look up and having Damon be the ones to actually utter the words was just brilliant. She can deny Damon (and has had far too much practice at it, IMO) but not the both of them. She looks to Damon when she needs the truth, even when she can't handle it. Damon is capable of saying things he doesn't mean when he knows Elena really needs to hear them. Plus Elena knows he doesn't mean them, so they're not anything like Stefan's outright hiding of the truth from her. This whole interaction between them shows what a talented writer you are with an awesome grasp of the characters.

Edited because I realized that I'd skipped a couple sections in my review. Oops :S

---> Part 2


Edited at 2012-09-22 04:57 pm (UTC)
Arabian: Damon & Elena20arabian on September 23rd, 2012 04:05 am (UTC)
I love how you start with the meaningful ritual of Jeremy inviting Elena into their home, even though they were unsure if it was neccessary. That situation was fraught with several layers of emotion and which added to the cool segue way into the first flashback. Also, having Damon be the common element between present and past was great.

It's funny, a lof of the later sections/chapters were pretty detailed in terms of dialogue and action, but this one, I just kinda sat down with the vague idea of what do to and it just kinda worked out this way. I think opening it with Jeremy and their relationship was important since this is about Elena's journey, you know? And the Damon being the connector, yeah, that's just the D/E fangirl in me subsconsciously coming out to play, LOL!

I'm enjoying Elena's overall irritation with Stefan

I'm really trying to find the line of 'of course she loves him and is happy he did that, she chose him after all,' but yet, still have that note of underpinning irriation that SHOULD be there (but alas which I fear will not at all be on display on the show.)

Jeremy's thinly-disguised disgust of him

If Jeremy is fine and dandy with Stefan on the show ... I will not be fine and dandy, let's just put it that way. Dude, he let his sister die!

It really establishes the story for me and a good flow of time (which I feel is sometimes lacking in the show).

Oh, thank you. And, yeah, they do kinda fail there at times. I've certainly noted it too.

Your Damon voice is second to none, Jenn. His characterization is just brilliant (and you know the extent of my Damon-stanning, so I hope that carries some weight).

He's really, really, REALLY fun to write. You can just go all balls-out and be funny and snarky and use references going back years/decades, etc. and yet there is this current of hard honesty in just about everything he says. He really is a dream character to write for. I understand why KW loves writing for him best.

Thank you so much for taking such time and care in reviewing. I love how you're making me see aspects of the story in a different light than I even realized I was relaying. Thank you.
Heather-Ann: DE Sometimes I believelinsell_farm on September 22nd, 2012 06:06 pm (UTC)
Part 2

I just loved seeing jealous!Elena again. The way you did it makes complete sense to me. Seeing her Damon make an appearance to Meredith would certainly bring out the green-eyed monster in Elena (even if she won't admit there is one residing in her). I also loved that Elena questioned whether it was her death or Ric's that may have caused this change in Damon's ways. It just shows how well she knows him.
Having that immediately followed with another lovely moment of Damon understanding how hard this is for her, and reaching out to her in their patented DE face-holding move, was wonderful. Her absolute feeling that he'd take care of her as he always does made me melt. Her feeling a million miles away from Stefan in the face of her reliance on Damon was perfection.

Another good transition to the past, using Damon as the conduit :). The scene with Meredith was concise and well-done. Stefan's pompous attitude is one of the things I like least about him, along with his lack of culpability. Did he stop to think for 1 minute that Meredith's actions wouldn't have been such an issue, had he decided to save his girlfriend? Anyhow, you have Stefan's character down pat (as usual). I liked Damon's snide little remark about always and forever very much.
The pace of this section (and overall) is a good balance of giving information between the characters and slower spots to appreciate their emotional connections.

Wow, the next present-day section is incredibly well-written. The concept that her choice of Stefan led to her death was an eye-opener for me. I mean, I'd certainly thought that Elena would eventually come around to resent Stefan for letting her die, even if it was a result of her wishes. I hadn't thought of the whole sequence of events. Then with her realizing that making a choice hadn't made things easier, brought me the realization that any choice can bring unexpected, unfathomable consequences. Again I say, WOW!!! You are amazing, Jenn. Everything is incredible, including Jeremy's and Stefan's reactions.

The flashback showing Elena's decision to turn is believable, and well-done. I understand why Stefan is so pro-choice, but it wouldn't be in keeping with Elena's character at all for her to put her wishes before the well-being of her brother. Her needing to see Matt was a good exit strategy to get away from Stefan's perpetual reminders (which feel a little like harping to me).

I love that Damon is her anchor through the difficult task of drinking Jeremy's blood. That they can give each other such strength with a look is just so beautiful. The immediate heightening of her senses was nicely conveyed. Damon's practicality and support of her, while Stefan sits idly by stewing in his own juices, is rather enjoyable to me.

I loved the whole interaction between her and Matt. They have such a history together and I could feel that in their words. You did a great job of showing what a tangled web Elena's life is without making too complex or hard to understand. I also very much enjoyed that Matt gave a voice to my feelings that Stefan should not have made the choice he did, and that Damon would never have let that happen. Another great moment was Matt's knowing that Elena would forgive Damon and telling her as much. :)

My favorite part of the final section was the silent exchange between Jeremy and Damon. I love that you included their unique regard for each other in your story. Of course, Damon lightening up the atmosphere was enjoyable, as well.

This chapter was an excellent start to what promises to be an engaging, wonderful story, Jenn. I've surely been missing out by not having read this until now. Of course, that also means that I have plenty more to devour right away :).
Arabian: Damon & Elena17arabian on September 23rd, 2012 04:38 am (UTC)
Part 1

I just loved seeing jealous!Elena again. The way you did it makes complete sense to me.

Thank you. Everytme I reread that I get a little bit worried that it doesn't quite work, and that it sticks out, so I'm glad you didn't see it as such.

Her feeling a million miles away from Stefan in the face of her reliance on Damon was perfection.

How we won't see that on the show does boggle me (I mean, we already saw Elena calling out for Stefan to save her to Tyler as she's being drained from blood, ignoring all reason/reality that if she was gonna want help from someone it would be Damon). I know that I stepped a wee bit away from canon there, but I just can't fathom how/why Elena wouldn't feel this way considering the last year. I mean, it's not as if Stefan was EVER the one to save her even before all that happened in season 03. It was always Damon who saved her. Like always!

Stefan's pompous attitude is one of the things I like least about him, along with his lack of culpability.

I love him, but boy does have issues.

I liked Damon's snide little remark about always and forever very much.

Me too. It's rather become a recurring theme actually in the story, which honestly makes perfect sense to me because of the fact that she does have forever now, so it SHOULD come into play.

The pace of this section (and overall) is a good balance of giving information between the characters and slower spots to appreciate their emotional connections.

Thank you. I actually at one point tried to re-structure it and put all the flashbacks together and then move into the scene with Jeremy letting her in at the beginning, but it really lost that flow, so I kept it as is.

The concept that her choice of Stefan led to her death was an eye-opener for me.

Wow, I've been thinking that so long, I thought it was just kinda a common read in the D/E fandom now. I mean, it paralleled season 02 when Damon told Elena that it was his choice to be with Katherine, and it was the wrong choice because it led to his death -- but if that hadn't have happened, he wouldn't have met Elena. And this kinda seemed like it could follow in that same path. Elena made the wrong choice (to be with Stefan), it led to her death, but having made that choice, it will eventually lead to her choosing to be with Damon forever.

Then with her realizing that making a choice hadn't made things easier, brought me the realization that any choice can bring unexpected, unfathomable consequences. Again I say, WOW!!! You are amazing, Jenn. Everything is incredible, including Jeremy's and Stefan's reactions.

Aww, thank you so much. I'm just trying to really get to the heart of Elena Gilbert here. There's been so much hatred sent her way for not being all over Damon and actually over Stefan, but I do feel for her -- even if I think she's being stupid, LOL! So I'm trying to really get to who/why she is what she is, why she's making the choices she is and the consequences that follow. Hmm, I hope that made sense. Oops.

TBC
Arabian: Damon & Elena08arabian on September 23rd, 2012 04:38 am (UTC)
Part 2

Damon's practicality and support of her, while Stefan sits idly by stewing in his own juices, is rather enjoyable to me.

I didn't even realize it when writing, and it wasn't intentional, but yeah, if that isn't emblematic of Damon and Stefan as individuals....

I loved the whole interaction between her and Matt.

Whatever issues I have with the second half of season03, Matt and Elena being written SO beautifully and finally, fully bringing to fruition that history of who they are/were to one another is something I think they did so very, very right. I was just trying to honor that in this scene here.

I also very much enjoyed that Matt gave a voice to my feelings that Stefan should not have made the choice he did, and that Damon would never have let that happen.

I know that Damon will be showing misplaced anger at Matt originally, but I hope it doesn't last because I'd love to see Matt/Damon on the same side in term of how they feel Elena should be treated -- ie, not with kid gloves, and challenged.

My favorite part of the final section was the silent exchange between Jeremy and Damon. I love that you included their unique regard for each other in your story. Of course, Damon lightening up the atmosphere was enjoyable, as well.

Yay! That was my favorite part too! I'm so glad so many peope did pick up on that. And fear not, Damon/Jeremy WILL be explored. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm setting the groundwork for it right now in upcoming chapters. :)

This chapter was an excellent start to what promises to be an engaging, wonderful story, Jenn. I've surely been missing out by not having read this until now. Of course, that also means that I have plenty more to devour right away :).

I hope you enjoy what comes. And when you are caught up, know that I'm trying to update once a week (generally Tue or Wed). Thanks again so much for your thoughtful comments.
Diana: Vampire Diaries - Nina/Ianbutterfly on September 24th, 2012 11:16 pm (UTC)
I'm going to try to get a chance to catch up on this today, so don't be surprised at getting a bunch of comments.

Reading something is definitely different to listening to it. ♥

I really love how overwhelmed and shocky Elena feels, and how Jeremy is her top priority in her decision to transition. Damon is angry and Stefan is defensive, which felt right. And Jeremy not wanting to lose the last person in his life.
Arabian: Ian & Nina(PS)05arabian on September 27th, 2012 04:47 am (UTC)
I can't imagine she won't be overwhelmed simply because she really has no clue about the whole vampire thing and how it really works. Jeremy better be the main reason she decides to transition. I don't see how it can't be.
Ariel: ME Mirandalunar47 on September 25th, 2012 03:01 am (UTC)
I really love this start. On to the next chapter...
Arabian: Caroline06arabian on September 27th, 2012 04:48 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. :)
Winchickster: pic#102926201winchickster on January 30th, 2013 08:43 am (UTC)
Yay! I like it a lot. Off to the next chapter!
Alisha: Revenge - EmilyNolanBamfWalkkalishaka on April 2nd, 2013 12:39 am (UTC)
Stepping inside, Elena expected it to feel different, but it all felt, looked the same.

I still love this line, it’s so simple and slightly stage setting, but at the same time, it’s just so real to how you react when something tragic happens. You feel so altered, so different, and the rest of the world, even your own space, continues on like nothing happened. And while I know this was written long before, that small observation on home, how unchanged it has been throughout all the tragedies Elena experiences, hits onto something the show goes for as well in how she burns her home to the ground.

As if reading her mind Stefan finally spoke, reminding her again. "You don't have to do this."
Jeremy made a low sound, an incoherent cry. Without looking to him, she straightened her shoulders and nodded slightly. "Yes, I do. I do, Stefan."


This soft push from Stefan, something so in keeping with their relationship because it feels supportive and loving, feels like he is trying to give her the option that might be best for her despite the sacrifice of losing her. And yet, her acknowledgement that she doesn’t have that option, showcasing how vastly different these two characters are. I will never discount Stefan’s love for this brother, because I know it is there, even when I hate on him for his treatment of Damon, but he is the youngest, the baby. It’s different to be the eldest, to be responsible for keeping the family together, keeping someone safe. I don’t know, again a small thing that just reads into the larger view of these characters and rings so very true.

I also know I’ve expressed my love for the flashback scene before but Damon’s real palpable anger throughout, resolving in him saying what Stefan cannot…and then apologizing despite his own wants. Knowing that this isn’t what she wanted and feeling a sort of genuine regret that this is not what she wanted, but them both knowing he is not apologetic for the fact that she is still alive. Love.

Ugh. The small sentence noting that Damon’s voice catches on Alaric’s name. Pain!

The scene with Matt is so so perfect. Their relationship is so sweet, and this handled it so well.

(I had to make myself just stop rambling in my notes on this fic...or we were never even going to make it past the first chapter tonight. =))